All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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