I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
