We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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