neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
