nut hugger
Jerry, you need to find god
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
