the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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