quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
