Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
