Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
