Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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