but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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