I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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