I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Randomize
