im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
