Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
