i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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