Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
