youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
