I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
