Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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