I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
