Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
