I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I need a beard to bite.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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