Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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