i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
