that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
