Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
