I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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