There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
