This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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