ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
