So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
