Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
