the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
