Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
