the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
