"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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