The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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