put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
