There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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