I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Drunk is not a location!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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