I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
