i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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