No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
