Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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