I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
