he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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