i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
