Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
