I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
