The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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